Talking is one of my favourite pastimes. This is how I’ve always been. When I was 14, I and a friend watched Fight Club twice in a row because it blew our minds. That movie captivated us for hours. We started late and didn’t finish until 5 a.m. the next morning. It was an amazing experience. In addition, I’ve had numerous late-night discussions with friends, girlfriends, and family members on a wide range of topics (with the exception of news, politics, and religion, which I avoid at all costs). My mind gets a kick out of talking. There is sex for the brain in deep conversation, as well.
Two things hold true, however, when it comes to the habit of oversharing.
1. When you’re talking, your ears are closed.
I became a person who was always looking for an opportunity to speak. I always had something to say when I was with friends, in meetings, or even at the dentist. In contrast, if you talk too much, you won’t pay attention. You’re only interested in what you’re hearing from yourself. The danger of falling in love with your own voice is that you can learn far more from others than from yourself. So why not ask questions instead of talking? Listen, as well. Coaching legend Lou Holtz sums it up perfectly: “Talking is a waste of time for me. Inquiring minds want to know more”. It is also a sign of inexperience and a lack of emotional intelligence if you talk a great deal. What’s the matter with you? When you’re feeling self-conscious, it’s natural to want to prove your abilities to others. In the eyes of others, however, the polar opposite is true. If you put in too much effort, it will come off as forced. A mentor of mine once pointed out to me how much I talk. According to what he said, “Less is more. Make a few more inquiries. Also, pay closer attention. “Even after all these years, I still enjoy chatting with people. My preferred method of communication these days is questioning and listening to the answers I receive. You can only get to know someone and establish a connection if you take the time to listen. In the long run, it’s what will get you further in life—and make you happier, too.
2. Talking prevents you from taking action.
Walt Disney once stated: “Stop talking and start doing” is the best advice I’ve ever received”.
I’ve been told these things by people I’ve met in the last month:
• Creating an app is my goal.
• Getting a publishing deal is something I’m striving for.
• I’d like to direct a film.
• I aspire to be of service to others.
• I’d like to buy a Ferrari.
• I’d like to participate in a marathon someday.
• I’d like to begin a blog of my own.
Ambition is wonderful. As our aspirations. Meeting motivated individuals is one of my favourite pastimes. But what’s better than talking about things is actually doing them? Putting in the effort to complete them. What the fuck are you waiting for? What do you think about it when you’re in bed? What are your thoughts on the New York City Marathon’s finish line? Or perhaps you’re already thinking about the workout scheduled for the following day? That analogy can be applied to anything in your life. Do you have any plans to purchase a vehicle? Or are you preoccupied with how you’ll make money to buy that car you’ve had your eye on? It’s the difference between putting emphasis on the outcome rather than the method. Even if you don’t actually do anything, it’s almost as real as talking about it. A person’s brain begins to believe what they are thinking when they talk about their plans with others. In your mind, it becomes a reality. Nevertheless, you and I are both aware that it is a fabrication. In other words, don’t let yourself be deceived. Do you want to succeed? Reduce your verbal output. Increase your efforts. In addition, those who are actively engaged in their work lack the energy necessary for conversation. The next time someone boasts about his lofty ambitions, don’t feel bad about yourself, just laugh it off and know that they’re lying. What are you thinking? We can now return to our work.
