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Self-respect and habit modification both require assertiveness. Assertiveness is defined as speaking out for your rights in a direct, honest, and appropriate manner while respecting the rights of others. It’s the perfect balance of assertiveness and non-aggression. As a result, developing the assertiveness habit might be a lifelong endeavour.
Everyone wants to be more self-assured, but few people know how to assert themselves. Assertiveness is a type of assertiveness that lies in between passive and aggressive. You might come across as submissive if you don’t speak up when you have anything to say. And if you’re adamant about your point of view, you might come out as unfriendly or, worse, a bully. You can express yourself without being passive or confrontational if you learn to be assertive, and you’ll have a better chance of receiving what you want.
Here are seven easy steps you can do to help you become more forceful.
- Recognize assertiveness.
Assertiveness is an interpersonal skill in which you show a healthy sense of self-confidence while yet respecting the rights of others. You are neither passive nor aggressive when you are forceful; instead, you are direct and honest.
- Maintain a consistent communication style.
When it comes to assertiveness, communication style is crucial, and the key is to respect those with whom you’re trying to communicate. Pay attention to your body language as well as what you say, and make sure your words, body language, and tone are consistent. If we make a request or expressing a desire, maintain a confident demeanour. Stand tall, lean in a little, smile or have a neutral expression on your face, and look the individual in the eyes.
- Recognize and accept diversity.
Being assertive does not imply dismissing other people’s viewpoints. You endeavour to understand different points of view just as you struggle to express your own. Allowing disagreements to anger or enrage you is counterproductive; remember that differences do not always imply that you are correct and the other person is incorrect. Make an effort to comprehend their viewpoint. Respectfully listen and don’t interrupt them when they’re speaking.
- Speak clearly and simply.
It’s critical to communicate assertively in a way that doesn’t imply accusations or make the other person feel bad. Speaking your mind with candour shouldn’t imply that you’re making others feel bad. Declare what you know to be true for you in a straightforward, straightforward, and concise manner. Remember that less is more when asserting oneself. Avoid rambling or long-winded explanations in your inquiries.
- Make use of the “I” power.
Use “I” expressions to be authoritative without coming across as angry. Make it a habit to use phrases like “I believe…” or “I feel…” Never use abrasive words or words such as “You never…” or “You always…” Other people are irritated by these statements, and communication is halted as a result. You can be confident and assertive without alienating or excluding others by using “I” phrases.
- Maintain your composure.
Being aggressive might make you feel elated, yet elation can also be misconstrued as hostility. When expressing yourself, keep cool and collected; it will boost your confidence and allow the other person to unwind. Remember to take regular breaths and pay attention to your body language and eye contact. Make an effort to be there with one another. The calmness of mind, voice, and action not only gives you confidence but also allows the other person to remain calm.
- Define your limits.
Boundaries are the rules and restrictions you set for yourself to determine what you will and will not allow. You don’t want others to trample on you, but you also don’t want them to believe you’re a bully. You’ll be able to tell when you need to say yes and when you want to say no if you set boundaries.
As with any other skill, assertiveness requires practice and time to master. Continue to practise each of these tactics, and you will gain confidence quickly. It’s not the same as being nasty or confrontational to be aggressive and know what you want. All you have to do is know what to say and express it confidently.