Here are some recommendations for how to break up with someone if you’re in the process of terminating a relationship. You’ve realised that in a relationship, you’re doing all the giving and not getting much in return. You notice that you don’t feel particularly good about yourself while you’re around the person. The negative aspects of the relationship outnumber the positive aspects.
- Make certain you truly desire to end your relationship.
Make sure you want to split up with your lover before you do it. It’s critical to communicate your thoughts and issues about your relationship with your partner before breaking up. The impact of an unexpected breakup can be “extremely, very devastating and difficult to recover from.” Having a well-thought-out breakup also means that it shouldn’t be a hasty decision made in the middle of an argument or a card used to exert control over your partner.
- Think about what you’ve just said
When you’ve decided to end your relationship, it’s critical to allow yourself time and space to consider what you want to say before saying it. The conversation will almost certainly be difficult, and when you’re anxious, you lose access to your logical, reasoning thinking. Writing down exactly what you want to say and practising it ahead of time will help you anchor in the message so that you can effectively communicate your thoughts when you’re in the heat of the moment. Planning ahead of time can also assist you in assessing the tone with which you deliver the message.
- Empathy should be practised.
Put yourself in your partner’s shoes while you plan. Compassion for the partner’s point of view on the split, as well as the ability to verbalise it, can go a long way toward alleviating the inevitable pain. Empathizing with your partner is much simpler when you initially fall in love, but by the time you’re ready to call it quits, it’s tempting to ignore how your breakup will affect your partner. However, a little empathy might save you a lot of difficulty in the long run.
- Recognize that you won’t be able to influence their reaction.
You can’t control how the other person reacts, no matter what you say or how empathetically you express it. There is no guarantee that the dialogue will be effective because one can only control the message conveyed, not how it is received. However, numerous circumstances can influence how well the message is received, which is why it’s important to plan ahead of time how you want to conduct the conversation.
- Assure yourself that it’s perfectly fine to end a relationship.
Breaking up with a partner isn’t easy, especially when it’s someone you care about deeply, but it’s also not wrong, so you shouldn’t feel bad about it. Tell yourself that breaking up with someone who isn’t working out is entirely OK. And if it isn’t a good fit for you, it isn’t a good fit for them, too, even if they aren’t as conscious of it as you are.
- Face-to-face communication is the best way to deliver the news.
You owe it to your partner to have the breakup chat face-to-face if you feel safe seeing your soon-to-be-ex in person. Yes, it’s more unpleasant and painful than breaking up with them over the phone, but it demonstrates that you care about them and their relationship. However, keep in mind that, while their feelings are important, your safety comes first. If you don’t feel safe enough to meet, break up by phone rather than in person.
- Make sure you’re on track.
Remind yourself that there’s nothing wrong with breaking up with someone and that the pain you’re experiencing is only temporary. Also, admit that you just completed a difficult task. Even if you are the one who chose to end the relationship. You’re not out of the woods in terms of feelings. Being kind with oneself and practising self-care while you go through difficult emotions.
However, if you’re not sure if you’re ready to leave a relationship, remember that if this person doesn’t encourage you to be happy or accepts you for who you are, it may harm you mentally and physically. Breaking up is difficult, but following the advice above can make it a bit less painful for both sides.