Are you free to help me? What’s your self-awareness level? When it comes to self-awareness, it doesn’t even matter how good you are. Even if you’re aware of who you are, you’re not actually BEING who you are. Is this familiar to you?
If you haven’t already, here are some more:
• At work and at home, are you one and the same person?
• Does your personality change when you’re around other people?
• In what situations do you feel compelled to act differently?
Frequently, the first two questions are answered “no,” and the last one is answered “yes.” We do this because we believe that we have to act in a different way depending on the situation. It’s not true.
In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Having the courage to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you someone else is the greatest achievement.”
Emerson’s words are still relevant today. We do, in fact, live in a world where you are constantly being pressured to conform to social expectations of who you should be. So many rules about how you should look, talk and behave are in place today.
You can’t change who you are if you try.
If you’re like most people, you sometimes find yourself in situations where you don’t feel like you belong. At work, at school, at your in-laws’ house, or even in your own house, you may feel like an outsider.
Now, I’m not a fan of the “you don’t get me” slur anymore. Too often, people resort to blaming others for their own misfortunes. I don’t know if it’s childish or presumptuous. In spite of this, I do believe in one thing: never apologise for who you are. The idea of being an outcast or rebellious has nothing to do with it. Being yourself is all that matters. And there are times when you can’t be who you are. It’s time to leave when that happens. There isn’t another way.
“Why don’t you try to improve your own situation?”
When I was a kid, I thought that. However, it is not a viable solution. Again, this is a story that has been invented by the general public. A majority of its members are businesspeople. “You just have to adjust to the company culture,” is the standard line of advice. Really? There are a lot of people who complain, backstab, and play politics in the workplace. Don’t make any changes if that’s not your cup of tea. Do not try to change yourself; you are unlikely to succeed. You must, however, put in the effort to improve your performance.
Don’t let anything alter your course of action. Identify and develop your strongest assets.
Who do you want to be but aren’t?
It took me a long time to put the adage “don’t try to change yourself” into practice in my own life.
Now, I’m more likely to land a job at a company with a shady reputation. When it comes to “drinks,” I prefer to hang out with guys who aren’t afraid to talk about anything other than cars, flats, football, or women. As a result, I no longer engage in such activities on a regular basis. I don’t work with or for people who are conceited. I don’t associate with those who are quick to judge or lacking in depth.
Robert Greene, the author of Mastery, has this to say about it:
Your sense of self and mission will become crystal clear if you can clearly see who you don’t want to be.
Because I know what I don’t want to be, I’m always myself. You can’t please everyone in the world at once. No one will like you. That’s okay. As long as I’m able to be myself, I’m fine with paying the price. To be honest, I’m willing to pay any price to stay true to my values. There are very few things in life that are truly worth the effort.