How To Break The Habit Of Self-Betrayal

Habits Doctor Says
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Self-betrayal is deadly, and it’s at the root of a lot of addictions betraying someone or something, or being betrayed: a breach of a person’s trust or confidence, a breach of a moral norm, etc. This belief is disconcerting, and it has the potential to affect your capacity to be open and vulnerable with others. Betrayal puts our intuition in jeopardy. Belonging and connection are hard-wired into our Genes.

  • How many individuals would tend to, nurture, and let a seed planted deep in their hearts flourish if every person was born with one? What if the seed grew into a palm tree, but the person noticed that everyone around them was growing pine trees? Would they conceal the palm tree to blend in? Would they go to the extent of killing it?
  • That is the essence of self-betrayal. It’s a form of suicide in its most extreme form. People often dread others’ disapproval—society, family, a first crush, bullies, or simply being different and alone—so they squash their heart’s seed also known as one’s first impulse, dream, intuition, God’s whisper, or soul.
  • But because the seed is difficult to suppress, a variety of escapisms—working harder to acquire money and possessions, sex, love, food, drink, drugs, continual relocation and starting over, and/or isolating—take hold.
  • Basic human necessities, such as food, water, shelter, and clothing, are represented at the bottom of the pyramid. Safety is a step forward. Love, community, and a sense of belonging follow. Then there’s self-esteem. Self-actualization — that creative awe condition in which you are most in tune with your inner “real” self — is represented at the top of the pyramid. You don’t give a damn what other people think. The heart’s seed has reached full bloom.
  • It was interestingly stated that some people live from a lack of needs, while others live totally from their inner being. It’s almost as if a lack of attention to living one’s heart truth pushes one to become stuck at the bottom of the pyramid, focusing excessively on basic needs. Consider what constitutes conspicuous consumption: more affluent base-level requirements
  • Living with a lack of needs or self-betrayal leads to over-compensation in material desires, which leads to more unhealthy behaviours and addictions. Treatment of the undesirable habit or addiction is merely symptomatic. The actual labour is in removing the first major self-betrayal and nurturing the heart seed.
  • Try asking yourself the following questions to see whether you’re living out of any insufficiency needs: To be successful, I need to earn some amount of money. Another thing to ask is that have you given up on a different inner ambition to prove to your peers that you are not a failure or of inferior social standing? People just like, love, and/or be attracted. Try to be objective and rational in every decision you make, therefore it will be easy for you to ignore gut impulses and feelings.
  • Introspection works because it allows you to connect with your heart truth and live from your inner being, which means that your heart seed is watered, nurtured, and allowed to fully bloom in the sunlight of the day. People seldom understand that self-betrayal has impeded their progress unless they are confronted with a dramatic wake-up call, such as death, loss of profession and reputation, extreme troubles with their children, and/ or addiction. As a result, while these wake-up calls may appear to be a disaster, they can be a life-saving blessing that will help you.
  • If any of this strikes a chord with you, set aside at least 10 minutes each day to write whatever comes to mind even if it sounds like rubbish and is incoherent. Start counting how many times you do or say things based on what you think other people will think of you.

If you notice yourself being hyper-aware to the point of continually anticipating what others will do, pay additional attention. After that, practise speaking your heart’s truth. Above all, love whatever blooms. Don’t give up on it. It’s you, of course. Instead of constantly abandoning yourself, let go of the past, realised what you truly was, and began living, wholeheartedly, and shamelessly in that reality.


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4 months ago

A valuable resource for building better habits. I’ve shared these articles with my support group

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"When things are in order, they're easier to deal with."— Dr.Purushothaman Kollam