Let’s face it, the term “success” is ambiguous. Everyone wants it, but there isn’t much consensus about what it should look like. I had long believed that success would manifest as a significant event. A spotlight. A huge victory. However, I’ve discovered that it’s not at all loud or ostentatious.
Quiet is the hallmark of true success. Your habits are where it resides. It develops in your daily activities. It manifests itself in the repetitive actions you take, particularly when no one is looking.
When I Discovered My Mind Was in Control
Everything went wrong one Tuesday. After missing an important email, spilling coffee on my shirt, and hitting snooze three times, I was already feeling defeated by lunchtime. Once more.
“I just need more discipline,” I thought. However, that wasn’t it. I had trained my mind to function in a particular way. Wait. Steer clear of discomfort. Put things off. Do it again.
I didn’t need to put in more work. I had to rewire my mind and behavior.
Habits Are Similar to Brain Softwares
Your brain functions similarly to a phone. You update the software instead of throwing it out if it’s not functioning properly.
Habits are simply mental updates.
It’s not just about the clock when you get up early. It communicates to your brain, “I am in command.”
Writing a journal entry or two? “I create,” it says.
Rather than scrolling, are you stretching? In other words, “I care about myself.”
And this is supported by science. Approximately 45% of our daily actions are habitual rather than conscious, according to a Duke University study. You spend nearly half of your day in automatic mode.
Brushing my teeth was my first habit.
Sounds easy, doesn’t it? However, I was in a difficult situation. I felt exhausted and stuck. I decided to adopt the simple habit of brushing my teeth. Each day. Regardless.
That turned into the first step in my self-reconstruction. It was about self-respect, not cleanliness.
More minor routines followed, such as journaling, making the bed, and drinking water before coffee. I gradually developed a rhythm. I had the impression that I was building bricks inside my head.
This is consistent with neuroscience. The brain’s neural pathways are strengthened when we perform an action repeatedly. We refer to this as “long-term potentiation.” In essence, repetition helps your brain become more adept at performing that task on its own.
It’s about pride, not perfection.
Being good-looking is not the goal of good habits. They are about pride.
Selecting water instead of soda? That’s a victory.
When you’re feeling anxious, do you go for a walk? That is therapeutic.
Refusing to do something that makes you feel exhausted? Growth is that.
Your brain is informed by these minor decisions that “this is who I am now.”
I still make mistakes, of course. I don’t work out. I squander time. However, I now know how to return. Returning when you veer off course is also a habit.
Five Things That I Found Helpful in Mental Reprogramming
- Start out small.
Compose a single sentence. Perform two push-ups. Momentum is created by small actions.
Stanford behavior scientist BJ Fogg refers to this as the “Tiny Habits” approach. It’s easier to stick to small steps.
- Link identity to habits
Saying “I want to read more” is not appropriate. Say something like, “I like to read at night.”
We refer to this as identity-based change. Habits endure longer when they align with your self-perception.
- Take out the friction.
Make it simple. Place your journal on your pillow. Place your shoes next to the door.
Your likelihood of forming a habit increases with its ease of initiation.
- When you make mistakes, treat yourself with kindness.
You haven’t failed if you miss one day. Simply restart.
Research indicates that self-compassion enhances motivation more than guilt.
- Honor minor victories.
You didn’t lose your temper? That is advancement. Added more water to your drink? That is important.
Dopamine, a feel-good neurotransmitter that boosts motivation, is released into your brain when you celebrate small victories
You’re simply untrained; you’re not broken.
Most of us are just reverting to old mental habits; we are neither lazy nor hopeless. The good news? They are modifiable.One small habit at a time. Today, there is only one option. Tomorrow, one better response.
You’ll realize that you followed through eventually. You were more adept at managing stress. You behaved as you would like to be.That is true success. Real, but not loud.
In conclusion, develop yourself one habit at a time.
You don’t have to be flawless. All you have to do is be reliable. Pick just one habit. Begin modestly. And continue to be present.Your mind is constantly paying attention. Your brain is being told a story about who you are by every habit you engage in.Let it be a lovely story.
